The Stories of Our Lives--Beginning of the Weekly Praise List

For lauding myself as an observer and chronicler of life, I've been doing a pretty poor job of it lately. I was in a meeting today talking about sharing our God-stories. It reminded me that that is what I created this blog to be--a place where I can come and narrate the beautiful tapestry that God is weaving of my life. But I forget. A lot. I get too busy. I don't see His hand moving.

These last 2 weeks have been ridiculously tremendous. I've seen God pour blessing upon blessing over me through multiple opportunities to serve and minister. I've known what it really feels like to work inside your gifting. I've had a little taste of this before in Poland, volunteering at Passion, and sometimes with work. But this has been like pure adrenaline injected in my veins. In the midst of feeling unsure of how to proceed in a situation, I literally feel the presence of the Spirit within me, filling me with power, wisdom, and peace. This is an experience without words to truly match it. Taste and see...

Highlights of the week:
-Getting SO much work done in so little time
-Helping families recognize progress in their children and finding joy in that
-Praying with my church family
-Giving a presentation to parents
-Having my plans spoiled a bit; missing an opportunity, but being able to recognize it was missed
-Rocking out and worshiping with The Myriad, Phil Wickham, and Crowder with LOTS of others
-Meeting Stacey's friend from Starbucks who was also, in fact, my cyber-friend
-Picking out new glasses!
-Progressive dinner: meeting new friends and having 30 people at our apartment--crazy!
-Seeing in living color a local business-owner's desperate need for the healing love of Christ and my part in sharing that love
-Cleaning up trash on a blustery day with some awesome friends
-Getting to meet a guy with special needs who asked me a billion questions but wouldn't tell me his name
-Teaching the truth of the Word to a family room full of people
-Making Jon laugh
-giving Rob a hug after everything

I could seriously go on and on. This was just last Monday to Sunday. I need to keep doing this.

God is just so immeasurably good. Praise His Name!

The Glory of It All

God is so good. He is a rescuer and restorer of souls. He is the only one who will never hurt us or disappoint. Father, thanks for being so obviously present in my day today. Thanks for using who you made me to be to touch hearts in some small way. Things will never be the same.

Red Sox Nation

I've never been what could be considered a baseball fan. Despite attending AAA Buffalo Bisons games as a kid, I never really got into the sport. I thought it was pretty boring, to be honest. My dad never really watched baseball when I was young, from what I can remember. We were always an NFL football family, and that, with college basketball, was what we watched.

But then I moved to Boston for the second time. Somehow I caught the Red Sox bug, despite the fact that they seem to find a way to lose every time I step into Fenway (including Jacoby Ellsbury's major league debut against the Texas Rangers). I actually watched a few games this year and got into it during the playoffs. It helps having 2 roommates that are rabid fans.

So, here I sit on the day of the 2007 World Series victory parade watching Fever Pitch.

I love this town.

Oh Great God...

He is truly the provider of all good things. Man, it just keeps coming. In the midst of my exhaustion, He decided to show up with a group of us picking up trash in our church's neighborhood. To many people, today might not have seemed like a big deal, but it was the beginnings of lightning striking ground like Piper talked about on Saturday morning. It was a beautiful thing that almost all of our students who were at Passion took part in serving today. God is good, and He's promised so much more.

More came tonight at church. It was the first time we gathered all together after the weekend at Baxter and Passion. The words of hope, confirmation, and mission spoken in that room tonight were thickly evident with the Holy Spirit's work. To just sit in there and hear all of those thoughts and stories was really humbling. My heart resonated so much with all of them that I was in tears most of the time. So, so beautiful.

I love this city and the students here so much. Today was clear evidence that we're all on-board with God's movement here. God, keep pressing us forward into becoming the people that You use to revolutionize this city. Keep us on our knees. Reveal Yourself in new ways through Your Word. Make us humble servants. Show us the hard decisions that must be made to live lives of those who passionately run after You.

There is none like You.

Hosanna!

I've been in a blogging drought, but I have a feeling that's about to change.

From where I sit right now, my body is completely exhausted after 2-15 & 16 hour days of standing, running, talking, laughing, and crying at Passion:Boston. I've volunteered before, but this experience was nothing like I've experienced in the past. I'm still dumbfounded by and in awe of what very little I've begun to process through.

God showed up in my city. I don't think I ever doubted that He is here, but the last 2 days of seeing students from here lifting praise after praise....well, that just busted open my paradigm (again). Maybe I too have fallen into the lie that Boston is such a "hard" place--insinuating that it is outside the reach of God's hand. Maybe I'm more stuck on numbers and results that I knew. Maybe I need to really, truly, let go of my ideas about what God is doing here among students and just be a part of leading them out into it.

Things are much clearer today than they've been in SUCH a long time. I am absolutely, overwhelming grateful for the presence of God. He is the KING over this map of little green and red pins that represent the campuses of Boston & Cambridge. He's got a divine purpose for each one of those pins and all those students they represent.

This city on a hill is primed for a revolution through which millions of lives will be changed forever.

Save us now, for we need a rescue that isn't temporary, but the only cure for endlessly seeking souls.

Hosanna.

None But Jesus

In the quiet
In the stillness
I know, that you are God
In the secret
Of your presence
There I am restored

When you call I won't refuse
Each new day again I’ll choose

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring him praise

In the chaos
In confusion, I know
You’re sovereign still
In the moment
Of my weakness
You give, me grace to do your will

So when you call I won’t delay
This my song, through all my days

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring him praise

All my delight is in you Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in you Lord
Forevermore

There is no one else for me
None but Jesus
Crucified to set me free
Now I live to bring him praise

Let God Arise

Tomorrow (aka today since I can't seem to get my butt to bed) is going to mark a milestone in my life....I'm leading a possibly large group of people in prayer. I've given presentations a million times and been on stage in dramas, but this is scary for me. I know that God has called me to preach to the prodigals, but this is the first time I've had the chance to put it into practice. I'm afraid of doing something wrong--somehow not honoring God as He deserves to be honored....but maybe that's the wrong focus. Maybe, just maybe, the act of humbling myself to get up there and chance that possibility of imperfection is how God wants to be honored. Maybe it's poetic justice that the prayer supports a lesson about getting in line with becoming who God desires to use for His glory.

Let God arise.

Download Festival 2007

Bang Camaro (20 guys on stage)







Band of Horses











Lap steel goodness (check the video)

I'm going to bed...

...but be prepared for another post tomorrow, regaling you with photos and videos from the Download Festival. It was nothing short of awesome.

Now I must ignore the neighbors being loud on their back porch (a downside of attempting to sleep on a city summer weekend night) and go to bed. I am completely freaking exhausted.

I Was A Church Drop-out

Hi. My name is Jen and I was a church drop-out. (Everybody now: "Hi Jen.")

I never recognized this fact until today. I was on the tail end of a 2-day collegiate fall planning meeting and we were talking about a recent study concerning the reasons why people 18-22 drop out of church. In the middle of that data fest (that I truly enjoyed, I might add), I discovered that I once met the criteria to be defined as a church dropout. And here I am, now ministering through an institution I once eschewed. Is that ironic?

Once I got over the initial shock of it all, I began to press into processing the richness of what God might want to teach me in this. Some big questions rose to the surface: what differentiates the church from on-campus/parachurch ministries; do college students really desire to seek community from the church (is that a motivating factor for them to attend); and, essentially, what is church?

These are questions that will not be answered in a matter of minutes or days. There's a lot of prayer and reading that will be put into these first things. But seriously, isn't this something that must be done before moving forward? This is the beginnings of a philosophy of ministry.

Dang. That's scary.

To See Things as They Really Are -or- Life After a Raspberry Mojito

Doing life with people is ramshackle and difficult. It's messy and confusing. But it can be beautiful, true, and God-in-flesh. It felt like this week was much more full of the former rather than the latter, but when I sit back and examine it, there were both huge highs and lows.

Some moments at work, dealing with a difficult parent and child, just tore me up emotionally. But sitting back on the other side of my week-ending, perfect raspberry mojito, I can see how God just screamed His glory through that situation, community caring for a member in need, my parent's visit, persistent prayers of a community, time with a friend, and a glimpse deeper into who He desires someone to be.

God, You are just SO big. I beg that You would allow me to see with Your eyes all those things that I disregard or wrongfully place in the column of negative experiences. Deepen my love for You and Your people.

Weary

Today was one of those long days that started out with bizarre, frustrating traffic early in the morning and just kept going. I felt off-kilter all day long and really had to fight for focus on the right things. It was one of those battle days that leave you exhausted in body and spirit. God, I need a deep drink of You right now.

Freedom

I had dinner with one of my roommates last night and she said something that I've been processing for the last 24 hours. She has some South Korean friends that believe that unity with North Korea will provide the best way for the gospel to move forward there. When pressed about the terms by which this unification would take place, even to the point of South Korea coming under the regime of Kim Jong-il and his policies, the Korean Christians were willing to give it all up for the sake of the cause of Christ.

My roommate and I sat and thought about the profundity of sacrifice that we perceive that to be. In America, where freedom is prized above all else, what has that freedom afforded us where Christianity is concerned? Has it made the gospel spread or has it lent itself to idleness, debauchery, and pressing farther away from God as a nation? Has the American Church become so diluted because of freedom? What does freedom mean in light of Philippians 2:1-11 for us and those Korean believers?

I know these are dangerous questions and ones to be pondered much longer than a day. Know that I'm coming from a perspective of a person who went to a very politically conservative Christian college, listens to talk radio, and usually votes Republican. Also know that I'm not quick to draw causation from isolated information.

All I know is I want to be more like Christ and who He sees me as. If that means rending all that I understand about what it means to be an American, then I must do it. I'm seeing more and more that viewing ourselves as a chosen nation is simply pompous.

Thankful Heart

I just enjoyed a really good Saturday, full of a random trip to Nantasket beach and yummy dinner with girlfriends. It was a really good day of taking the scenic drive to Hull, giving a tour of the South Shore to a native of Martha's Vineyard. It was pretty sweet seeing the tide roll in to completely swallow up the beach we were once laying on. We had some fantastic ice cream which we ate while watching crazy people play in the chilly breaking waves. Then it was off to a homemade dinner in Mission Hill with some lovely ladies. We shared books, conversation, music, a few beers, and God made Himself known.

Thanks Michelle and Carissa. Thanks God, for answering that prayer.

FastLane

You all know what I'm talking about...those "self-service" check-out kiosks that are now found everywhere from WalMart to Home Depot to the big grocery store chains. I really hate these things. I had a run-in with one just now that reminded me how annoyed I get with them. I won't even look at one at Home Depot since the thing will automatically start spurting out some error message once it detects my gaze.

Anyway, I had a weak moment at Shaw's tonight while picking up some yummy Dove ice cream (chocolate ganache!!) to nosh on while I listen to Joey's late night radio show. I just had the one thing, so you know, the self-service deal would be faster, right?

The answer is: No. First off, I waited for about 3-4 minutes for these women who were chatty Cathies to get through with their dueling purchases so another woman and I could use the adjacent machines. That was just a poor choice of venue on my part. Then it was my turn at checkout #14. I swipe my "rewards" card (aka you better use this or your groceries will cost twice the GDP of Nicaragua) and get some error about an 'unknown' item. I swipe it again. Same error. I figure I can ignore this and swipe the ice cream. Ice cream rings up ok. I press the button to finish. Swipe rewards card. It miraculously works this time. I get my debit card ready to go to make it all legal. THEN... You need assistance due to the 'unknown' item. Are there any employees manning the 6 self-service deals? No. Of course not. So I stand there, with red light blinking above said kiosk, frozen with debit card in hand, wondering if the ganache is worth this technological glitch. I stick it out, looking in vain for assistance. Finally a kindly elderly stocker sees some combination of my helpless expression and the blinking crimson orb and gets the attention of the "big shots" (his term). I fork over the funds (electronically, of course) and leave the store about 10 minutes later than I'd wanted to.

Moral: avoid the self-service line. Stop being an American for once and let someone else whom you already pay and who might know what they're doing take care of it for you.

Now, time for that Caramel Pecan Perfection....

The Pity Party is Over

I have officially landed in bad-attitude land. I want nothing more today than to sit on my butt in my pjs and do NOTHING at all, except maybe watch Lost for hours on end. My head hurts, I'm exhausted, and I would rather not teach autistic children for 4 hours this afternoon. I want to sleep and complain. I want to be completely unproductive. I want to not do the several various paperworky tasks that I'm either behind on or just avoiding. ARGH.

I am so lame. Just by the mere fact that I'm complaining about this stuff shows just how lame I am. Millions of people around the world never get a day of not working (aka weekend), let alone national holidays, or even jobs that can support them without working 12 hours (or more) a day. Those people struggle to feed themselves while my friends and I sat noshing next to a river for most of yesterday without even a second thought.

Life is just not a bed of roses today, but sometimes I've just got to fight for joy--to see the glimmer of hope, redemption, and resurrection that's told in every story, in every moment. That's my mission in life as an ambassador for Christ. Maybe missions is just about being that watcher who translates moments of pain, or exhaustion, or darkness, into hope.

Today I need to translate for myself.

Heart and Home

This was one of those nearly perfect weekends, filled with activity to the point of sweet exhaustion. I did more in the last three days than one can imagine, all the while renewing my love for a city that rarely fails to take my breath away. Renewing a passionate first love through the eyes of someone experiencing that love at first sight was pure breath into my lungs.

There's so many bits of this weekend that were God's hand at work, from the perfectly sunny nearly humidity-free 70s temperatures, to a 24-hr flight delay, to humbling mistakes, to missed Sox game shuttles, to late night conversations. I am thankful He was present here in every moment, even the ones that weren't "perfect" or holy. Those things were all knit together for our good and His glory.

God, thank you for people that love and surround me that respond to Your urging and voice. Thank you for opening a heart. Thank you for words You gave me to speak. Thank you for the humility You brought at the beginning to make those words possible. God, You are so good.

Cherish

Waking up at 4:30am today reminds me how much I love sleep...and how much I miss when I do sleep. I forget how much of this city is up and around before 6am. I saw a 7 year old girl out on her Razor scooter at 6:30 this morning. But then, isn't there just as much activity at 1am, when I like to be awake?

Scrap of Paper

Moving into a new place for me doesn't necessarily mean that I cleared out the old stuff sufficiently. That reality has been borne out by the 4 random cardboard boxes lurking in the corner of my room. Inhabiting those boxes are hair cut magazines, my old Florida license plate, many, many cable wires and extension cords, and other sundry items. My goal today is to clear all that stuff out, or at least fit the stuff that doesn't go anywhere into the smallest box.

In this organizational quest, I ran across something that I wrote nearly 2 years ago. Scribbled on a half sheet of paper, one half once carrying a Diet Coke coupon and the other side a printed out listing of Delta flights to Boston via Fort Walton Beach. This is old stuff. I clearly remember writing this poem as I sat on the steps of Park Street Church, at the crossroads of this pedestrian city. I remember the sounds, the people, and that I looked at Beacon Hill apartments that day. I wrote as I waited to be picked up by Stacey to have dinner with her, Anne, Doug, Shelley, Emily (and Pete) at Doug's place in Somerville.

About 3 lifetimes have passed since that day. I moved to Quincy. I was a big boss at the May Institute--then quit. Rebekah died. Brian and Kim moved to Tennessee, then Texas, then Alabama. Jess quit being friends with me. I moved to Somerville. My car's air conditioner quit working.

Through it all, the amazing and beautiful part is that what I wrote on this jagged scrap paper still remains true for me. So, for feng shui's sake, this poem is written here for myself and posterity. My prayer is that this is still my heartbeat in 2, 10, 25, 50 more years.

7/2/05

Small piece of paper
Asian girls stare
Church on Park St corner

Parents teach children about the
red Brick way of history amid honks,
bums, and a dancing Metallica reject

My city who needs Jesus, loves the Sox
more than Him

Holy one of Israel made famous
across the way one fall--
preached boldly everywhere 200 years ago

Lord, take it over

True believers long after you rather than
statusmoneysexdrugsalcoholfamepridelovefamilyhouses

The Barbarian Way

Abandon for worldly things replaces faith

Come Lord Jesus,
take over this place

Hear the bells and know the tune in your
hearts

A Quick Update

Moving weekend is now over and I'm attempting to settle into my new environs as an official Somervillian. (LOL--villian). It was an interesting moving weekend that started on Thursday and just kept going. It was cool the first day but hot through Saturday. Needless to say, I was sweating A LOT. Who needs to work out when you can move in 80-plus degree humid weather?

All was well and pressing forward until yesterday afternoon when I was putting a storage unit into my closet. I'd put it together and was pushing it into place when I cut the side of my left hand on something embedded in the carpet. I immediately clasped the cut with my right hand...then I surveyed the damage. There was blood pooling all over my palm and I knew it was bad enough for an ER visit. Fortunately, I quickly located a cast off towel to apply pressure and absorb the blood. Two of my roommates were home and helped me to locate my purse so we could drive to the hospital that was around the corner. One hour and three sutures later, I was back home. So much for any more unpacking of heavy things...

Needless to say, it was an interesting weekend. I'm really liking living here so far. We did some roomie bonding Saturday night with a nice stroll to Davis Square to grab some ice cream at JP Licks. Also, there's a lot of people in this neighborhood that go to Hope Fellowship, so it's been cool to meet new friends already. This is a really good decision on so many fronts. My prayer continues to be that this move will open up new doors to ministry and freedom to serve that I didn't have before.

I'd like to write more, but my hand is killing me. ;)